Bill The Vampire (Tome of Bill, Book 1) by Rick Gualtieri

By Rick Gualtieri

There are purposes we worry the evening. He's no longer considered one of them.

Bill Ryder was once a dateless geek, slacking his means aimlessly via lifestyles correct up until eventually the day he was once killed. regrettably for him, that was once only the start of his problems. He aroused from sleep as a vampire, one of many mythical predators of the evening. unfortunately, fangs or now not, he was once nonetheless on the backside of the foodstuff chain.

Now he reveals himself surrounded via creatures enhanced, deadlier, and an entire lot cooler than he's. Worst but, such a lot of them wish him useless - completely this time.

Bill isn't precisely ordinary, although. A vampire like him hasn't been noticeable in centuries. He's received a couple of methods up his sleeve, not going allies, and an perspective challenge that makes him too rattling obnoxious to quit.

Join him during this hilarious story of monsters, mayhem, and the not going hero who's no longer afraid to inform all of them off - whether it will get his tooth kicked in.


Bill The Vampire, ebook one in The Tome of Bill sequence, is a foul-mouthed horror comedy with a bad overbite.

If you like fast paced motion and snappy discussion then you're in for a bloody solid time.

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Extra resources for Bill The Vampire (Tome of Bill, Book 1)

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Cedric was still drinking Red Stuff and seemed even more unhappy, and Glenda, now completely healed, glowered at Dahlia. 24 ■ CHARLAINE HARRIS But they joined the throng with the rest. Even Don and his enforcer rose to join the crowd when Taff y did. “That was an excellent strategy to distract the police,” Joaquin said. ” “We found a bundle of bloody clothes hidden in the base of the fountain,” Dahlia said, and a ripple ran through the crowd. “If we hadn’t had to hide the body, if no one had called the police, we might never have found them.

Didn’t seem likely. I thought about putting the record on, listening to it again, but I couldn’t stomach the thought. The fact that I held it in my hand made me uncomfort­ able. It was like holding a bomb about to go off. I had thought of it like a snake once. Alma May had thought of it like a hit-and-run car driven by the devil. And now I had thought of it like a bomb. That was some kind of feeling coming from a grooved-up circle of wax. 45 in the glove box, a razor in my coat pocket, and the record up front on the seat beside me, I tooled out toward Dallas, and the Hotel Champion.

That sound,” I said. “You get used to it,” Tootie said, “but the thing can’t. ” I looked at the wall. There was no alleyway. It was just a wall plastered in paint designs and spots of blood. ” I said. “I fall asleep,” Tootie said. ” For a moment I didn’t know anything to say. I finally got off the floor and sat on the bed. I felt my cheek where the tentacle hit me. It throbbed and I could feel blisters. I also had a knot on my head where I had fallen. “Almost got you,” Tootie said. “I think you can leave and it won’t come after you.

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